An actual conversation between my wonderful husband and myself.

Me (totally not intoxicated): So I think we should rethink the French Teacher movie. I think maybe we should have her have a job I actually know something about.

Jeremy (equally "not intoxicated"): What do you mean?

Me: Well like a hotel front desk agent or something I know about.

Jeremy: Yeah! And there's this monkey that checks in...

Me: Oh, yeah? And his name is Dunston?

Jeremy: No, no. It's where Dustin Diamond Checks In! To make porn!

Me: Eww!

Jeremy: Can you imagine cleaning up after that?

Me: Eww!

Jeremy laughs, then: Man, I totally blocked that out, I haven't thought about that in a long time, have you?

Me: What? Do you think I just sit around thinking about Dustin Diamond giving people Dirty Sanchezes all day? Jesus!

Jeremy laughs uncontrollably.

fun with crayons part 2

Hey Dudes!
I've recently colored several new pictures so now yous guys get so see them. And you'd better appreciated it cause it was a bitch scanning these things in. I ran out of computer paper so some of them are on notebook paper. Improvisation is my specialty.

Now that I've finally uploaded a picture...here's Lady D and Mindfuck in their formal wear

Next up we have "where's my bus?"

Orange is taking over...


I call this one "sing swan song"

Just for you! A sneak peek at a scene from Bible Hero Squadron Episode 4
Thug Life!

Smooth Sailing

Sunny Skies
This one needs a name

The Conductor
And finally, my favorite:

SXSW 2009

This past week I went to the South By Southwest festival with Jeremy and though you can see a lot of great shows for free, next year I'm getting a wristband.
The first day party we went to (on Wednesday) we got to see these people:



This is part of Horse Feathers. They kind of sound like Iron and Wine or Sufjan Stevens. They're a lot like aural klonopin.




We also saw this cool chick :
She's from (something) with the Get Down Stay Down. They sound kind of funkish/country. They're really cool and they put on a great show. She even told the crowd how she stole from Whole Foods that day.




We also saw Marnie Stern
She taught herself to play the guitar and fingertaps in this crazy way that's really cool. A picture really doesn't do her justice so here's a video.





The Thermals were the last to play, they put on a really good show and the girl next to me was really excited to see them. All in all, a great start to SX09. Until I realized how sick I was feeling. --Let me back up.
Monday I had gone to the Chiropractor to get my back adjusted and put my hip back in place so that I could walk during the festival. That afternoon, though my hip was feeling better, my arms started feeling weird. I couldn't really figure out the connection (if any) but I figured it was from getting my back all cracked and stuff. So Tuesday I went back to the Chiropractor to see how my body took to the first adjustment. After this appointment, I think I was mostly concerned with getting us ready to go to Austin that I wasn't really paying attention to how I was physically feeling. Wednesday I was nauseus and my muscles felt very strange. My arms didn't feel like they belonged on my body. Thursday I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. I felt like I couldn't get my blood sugar up and that no matter how nauseous I was, I couldn't throw up. It sucked big time. Friday Jeremy and I started the day with a shitton of Vitamin C (the vitamin, not the singer) and I felt a lot better. Saturday I finally felt good enough to drink alcohol again for a while, but I didn't want to push it.

--Ok back to the music.
Wednesday night Jeremy got to see the Decemberists play their new album "The Hazards of Love" in its entirety and I was very very jealous. Not having a ticket blows. The good news is that I was able to hear the whole thing perfectly from outside and Jeremy said I didn't really miss anything. They aren't exciting on stage I guess. Thursday I didn't really see any shows. Jeremy went to see some bands, but I just hung out with our friends from Dallas and tried to take it easy. (check out the SACurrent's blog at http://sacurrent.com/blog/default.asp - Lots of great coverage by Abbie Kopf, Jeremy Martin, Johnston Farrow and Chuck Kerr) Friday, same story. Saturday, though -- HOLY SHIT! We went to the best party of SX. This party was outside under a tent with a big shade tree, free food and an open bar. The weather in Austin was beautiful and the music was amazing. After a couple of vodka-tonics I was ready for some music (and a cigarette). We heard The Little Ones, some other band that I can't remember the name of and then...the best show of the week...JANELLE MONAE!!
Yes, Janelle Monae again. But seriously, watch.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This bitch is amazing.

Isn't she just gorgeous?
Miss Jane performed her album "Metropolis: The Chase Suite" This is from her entrance/first song and she kept this level of energy up the for her whole set. The coolest thing about Jeremy's job is getting to do stuff like this and going to cool concerts and getting to stand on the front row. I know I'm a total nerd for Janelle and when Jeremy took me to get a shirt I totally geeked out to her merch guy. Seriously you guys, she's about to be huge, just give her like 6 months and she's going to be everywhere.

That night we went to see the Crystal Method (thanks Brian and Abbie!). This was my first electronic music show. I really enjoyed it! It may have been better had we gotten some E or acid or something. But it really was a lot of fun.

So, a great week in Austin. I'm so glad I got to see our friends from Dallas and get to know some really cool people better. Not as much drunkeness as I'd like, but it may have saved us some money. I hope Jeremy had fun, I know I was hard to deal with on Thursday and Friday, I'm sorry babe.

And now I leave you with more Monae:

Down and out in Beverly Hills

So, I didn't get cast in the play. I did make it to call backs though. I did my best, but I'm still disappointed. I'm not discouraged, just disappointed. It really meant a lot to me, but I'm not bitter (I swear). I'm actually sitting backstage right now, Mariner is on its second week of performances and after tonight there are two more shows then we do strike on Sunday. That means we'll be breaking down the stage and cleaning up so that we can start building the set for The Imaginary Invalid. I was doing alright, I hadn't cried or anything. Then I talked to my dad tonight. He asked me how auditions went and I told him I hadn't made the play and it seemed like he didn't even care. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it still hurt my feelings. Then of course I started crying while I was trying to set out the props, sweep the stage, make sure the pea souper (dry ice fogger) was working and make sure everything is in place.
I don't really know the point of this blog, I just wanted to talk about it.

So I just auditioned. Scary shit man. Scary shit. I've got to get over this stage-fright stuff. I feel like I did alright, but that my nerves were showing in a big way. Everybody laughed when they were supposed to and everything, but at one point my right knee was shaking really bad. I took the long way home after auditions. The long way being way out of the way just to calm down. I was nervous before, but I really wanted to throw up and cry afterward. Keep your fingers crossed guys.
Love,
LTM

If I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better?

Hi Everybody!
I have 2 and a half hours before I need to be back at school. Being in theater is ridiculously time consuming and I haven't had more than about 10 minutes to myself in a long time. Think about that. Ten minutes isn't even long enough to masturbate properly...maybe that's why I've been so edgy lately.
Anywhozzle.
The play opened last night. (YAY!) The San Antonio College Theatre and Speech department would like to invite you to see Mariner, a story about Christopher Columbus. Trust me, it's great. I'm on the props crew for this production. ("Oh Lauren, those shears you made look so life like!" "Oh, thank you! You're so sweet!") And I tried to run a fog machine, but I think it's not working right. The fire alarm went off during Act One last night. (I heard that it wasn't from the fog machine, but from some contractors on the roof.) So everyone had to leave the theater and had to stand around for a while until "they" got everything reset. We came back in and the play went on like nothing had happened. The actors in this production are really great. I'm doing props again tonight and next Thursday and Friday. I'm really enjoying myself and meeting a lot of awesome people. Everyone is shocked to hear I'm married, but even more shocked when I tell them I'm 24. I keep getting told I look 19. I don't know how I feel about this. Obviously it's a good thing to look younger than you are, but I want people to take me seriously. Ya know?
On Monday I'll be auditioning for The Imaginary Invalid and I am terrified. Not so much that I'll fuck up my audition or anything, but that because this production is going to have a VERY small cast and since everybody and their mother is also auditioning I'm afraid there won't be room for me. It's not that I don't like Technical crew or anything, I just want to act dammit!
I've got my monologue all ready! I'm so excited about it. I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
I've gone ADD, sorry....
Love you guys!

oooh pretty colors

I've told everyone at this point that I color. I love crayons! I finally got my scanner working again so now I'm going to put up some of my most recent creations! (insert evil laugh here) The scanner doesn't really pick up the crayons as well as I'd like, but what can you do? Besides, if you assholes would ever decide to come visit us down here in San Antone, you can see them first hand on our living room wall.


First up, a little something for the BHS fans out there: Lady Doja



Next is : Rollerskating Genie! She'll make all your wishes come true!



And now, Jeremy's favorite:



I didn't really think this one needed a title.

Now I have two more that need titles, suggestions are welcome and encouraged.




And now my second favorite (Lady D is my #1)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

So it's a new year.
I know everyone makes resolutions but I've had some revelations.
There are things about me and my life I want to be different. I want certain things from my life. I want more from my life.
And in order to get these things, to change these things, I have to do it myself.

I'm starting classes at San Antonio College on Monday. This means a lot things are going to be different. I'm going to try to limit my non-school related internet usage to 1 hour on school days. I will not be going out on a "school night" (as Brian and Abbie say) unless it's Jeremy's work related. I think I may stop smoking during the week too. If I want to do well, I have to take school seriously. I have to grow the fuck up. I'm not going to get all boring or anything, don't worry. You'll still have your Lauren on the weekends, but please respect my dedication to school, I want my life to be better.

I've changed my eating habits. As a result of being piss-poor for the last week or so, my food portions have been drastically reduced. Now I can't eat as much as i used to. Case in point-Jeremy and I went to this party for a film festival that's being held here in San Antonio last night and they served fajitas. I love fajitas! And there was this great rice and amazing refried beans, it was great! Anyway, they gave everyone 2 fajita tacos and beans and rice. I ate about half of my food and then just couldn't eat anymore. It wasn't so much that I was full, more that I ate until I didn't want to eat anymore.

I'm taking steps to take better care of myself and my husband. Jeremy and I have been married for 3 years now and these have been the best and hardest 3 years of my life. We are getting better about cleaning the house and paying our bills on time (what a concept, huh?).

All of these changes I am making/have made are really just the symptoms of me growing up. I'm 24 and no one is going to live my life for me or take care of me (except jeremy of course) or make my life what I want it to be.

When I was little, I used to think of myself grown up and glamorous. Recently I realized, I am grown up.

It's time to get glamorous, y'all.