Down and out in Beverly Hills

So, I didn't get cast in the play. I did make it to call backs though. I did my best, but I'm still disappointed. I'm not discouraged, just disappointed. It really meant a lot to me, but I'm not bitter (I swear). I'm actually sitting backstage right now, Mariner is on its second week of performances and after tonight there are two more shows then we do strike on Sunday. That means we'll be breaking down the stage and cleaning up so that we can start building the set for The Imaginary Invalid. I was doing alright, I hadn't cried or anything. Then I talked to my dad tonight. He asked me how auditions went and I told him I hadn't made the play and it seemed like he didn't even care. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it still hurt my feelings. Then of course I started crying while I was trying to set out the props, sweep the stage, make sure the pea souper (dry ice fogger) was working and make sure everything is in place.
I don't really know the point of this blog, I just wanted to talk about it.

So I just auditioned. Scary shit man. Scary shit. I've got to get over this stage-fright stuff. I feel like I did alright, but that my nerves were showing in a big way. Everybody laughed when they were supposed to and everything, but at one point my right knee was shaking really bad. I took the long way home after auditions. The long way being way out of the way just to calm down. I was nervous before, but I really wanted to throw up and cry afterward. Keep your fingers crossed guys.
Love,
LTM

If I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better?

Hi Everybody!
I have 2 and a half hours before I need to be back at school. Being in theater is ridiculously time consuming and I haven't had more than about 10 minutes to myself in a long time. Think about that. Ten minutes isn't even long enough to masturbate properly...maybe that's why I've been so edgy lately.
Anywhozzle.
The play opened last night. (YAY!) The San Antonio College Theatre and Speech department would like to invite you to see Mariner, a story about Christopher Columbus. Trust me, it's great. I'm on the props crew for this production. ("Oh Lauren, those shears you made look so life like!" "Oh, thank you! You're so sweet!") And I tried to run a fog machine, but I think it's not working right. The fire alarm went off during Act One last night. (I heard that it wasn't from the fog machine, but from some contractors on the roof.) So everyone had to leave the theater and had to stand around for a while until "they" got everything reset. We came back in and the play went on like nothing had happened. The actors in this production are really great. I'm doing props again tonight and next Thursday and Friday. I'm really enjoying myself and meeting a lot of awesome people. Everyone is shocked to hear I'm married, but even more shocked when I tell them I'm 24. I keep getting told I look 19. I don't know how I feel about this. Obviously it's a good thing to look younger than you are, but I want people to take me seriously. Ya know?
On Monday I'll be auditioning for The Imaginary Invalid and I am terrified. Not so much that I'll fuck up my audition or anything, but that because this production is going to have a VERY small cast and since everybody and their mother is also auditioning I'm afraid there won't be room for me. It's not that I don't like Technical crew or anything, I just want to act dammit!
I've got my monologue all ready! I'm so excited about it. I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
I've gone ADD, sorry....
Love you guys!